It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
