My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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