I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
