i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
