I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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