I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
