Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
