Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
