That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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