She is in my trunk
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
