what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Randomize
