you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
