The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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