I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
