omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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