i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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