I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
