I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
