I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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