Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
