Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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