I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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