Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
