dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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