based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
