Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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