her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
