Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
