You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
