I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
