1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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