You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
