if only i could text you this smell
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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