you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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