her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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