she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
