There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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