he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
