Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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