i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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