i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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