This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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