I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
