no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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