I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
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