I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
