In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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