Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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