I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
