you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Are we still banned from the library?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize