hell yes lets make some ravioli
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
